Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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