i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
