I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
