never play flip cup with pint glasses
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So much rum. So many feels.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
