Sponge bath it is.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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