don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
