so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
