I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
