I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
