I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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