Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
