sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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