He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
