All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
