I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Buhtt sex?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
