He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
tell me about the fingering
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