nut hugger
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
