whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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