capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
