what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
