WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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