We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize