I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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