Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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