Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
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Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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