i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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