She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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