I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
