please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize