Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
