I am in a vortex of obligation.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
