It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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