I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize