I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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