where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
