He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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