i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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