sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize