Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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