thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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