bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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