life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later