umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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