Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.