I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.