i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?