somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
