Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
