I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
