We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If its not for food we ain't going out.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
