It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
