Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
