"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
