Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
