I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize