hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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