That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize