take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
