we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
