remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
