you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
