I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
