Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
