I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
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You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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