Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
