I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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