between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize