i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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