you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
