I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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