My liver just broke up with me...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
